In this article, I am going to show you how to use three languages of Apology to heal your relationships, being Love relationship, friendship relationship, business relationship, family relationship.
First of all, let’s look at ‘why Apology?’
Apologies reestablish dignity for those you hurt. Letting the injured party know that you know it was your fault, not theirs, helps them feel better, and it helps them save face. Apologizing helps repair relationships by getting people talking again, and makes them feel comfortable with each other again.
Language #1: Expressing Regret:
As imperfect beings, we all live in an imperfect world as people with conscience. As beings with a sense of morality or conscience, there is an innate desire to reconcile damaged relationships. This desire is usually stronger than a demand for justice, thus, there is an essential need for an apology as it is what hinders the build up of anger and violence.
To express regret is more commonly known as the words “I am sorry”. Expressing regret is the emotional aspect of an apology. It is to acknowledge the pain, the inconvenience, the disappointment, the betrayal of trust done to a person. It is to feel guilt, shame and pain that your actions or words have caused to another person.
Language #2: Accepting Responsibility:
This language is usually uttered with the words “I was wrong .” The most essential part of accepting responsibility is by admitting mistakes fully and not to self justify or make excuses. It is a sign of strength and maturity to admit ones wrongs. There is a quote that says “All of us make mistakes, but the only mistakes that will destroy you is the one you are unwilling to admit .” There is a very big difference between Apology Language 1 and 2, to be sorry for one thing is totally different from admitting you were wrong. One language can exist without the other. If you feel a deeper sincerity when giving or receiving an apology that acknowledges the wrong doing then your primary apology language is probably ‘Accepting Responsibility.’
Language #3: Making Restitution;
Making restitution answers the question “What can I do to make it right?” To make up for wrong I embedded in human psychology. It is the basis for the concept of reparative damages, which is to exert effort to make up for the wrong.
Restitution is basically equalizing, to make amends or do something about the wrong committed. In close relationships, the desire for restitution is almost always based on the need for love. “Am I still loved?” is the question that often has to be satisfied when making amends.